yay. i think the air is cleared now. =]

its just too difficult to distinguish between wat is true n wat is not. a person might have many sides but u only know one side and u thought that is the real side of him/her. we need to have a clear mind and not only depend on our feelings to make decisions. now im in a state of 'duno who n wat to believe'.

LIAN REN WEI MAN
wei shen me zhi he ni neng liao yi zheng ye
wei shen me cai dao bie jiu you xiang jian mian
zai peng you li mian jiu shu ni zui te bie
zong rang wo jue de hen qin hen tie
wei shen me ni zai yi shie pei wo guang jie
wei shen me ni dan xin shie dui wo fang dian
ni shuo ni diu wo bi bie ren duo yi xie
que you bu shuo shi duo na yi xie
you da yi shang
lian ren wei man
tian mi xin fan
yu yue hun luan
wo men yi hou
hui bian zen yang
wo bo bu ji dai xiang zhi dao da an
zai kao jin yi dian dian
jiu rang ni qian shou
zai yong gan yi dian dian
wo jiu gen ni zou
ni hai deng shen me
shi jian yi jing bu duo
zai xia qu
zhi hao zhi zuo peng you
zai xiang qian yi dian dian
wo jiu hui dian tou
zai chong dong yi dian dian
wo jiu bu shan duo
bu guo san ge zi
bie you yu zhe me jiu
zhi yao ni shuo chu kou
ni jiu neng yong you wo
wei shen me ni ji mo zhi xiang yao wo pei
wei shen me wo nan guo zhi ken rang ni an wei
wo men xin li mian
ming ming dou you gan jue
wei shen me bu gan mian dui

nice lyrics. nice song. =]

such a long day today. was boring boring all the way. until the dialogue session..while we were happily entertaining ourselves..huaian turned around and say "eh can u all shut up!" we were like wat the hell!!!! irritating freak.
oh ya! qingyi got this drink from the cafe called sth like hot tea with spices. its damn disgusting. until we all gave tt undescriptable expression. after tt brought to class ask the guys try. hahahaha everyone was so amazed y it taste so awful.

today is a special day. cos our sch got holiday! becos of the nomination thing lor. planned to go shopping with the girls but in the end went to party world with part of the class. so sorry zx! we know tt u dont like singing n we always go sing. and u cant join us =they wanted to go fly kite. and becos im wearing skirt n heels we cant go. cycle also cannot. im sorry guys. and also becos im reluctant to go home change alone. so in the end. we did our normal activity. play pool. rushed down to jp watch daisy cos its at 440. haha played poker on da bus. daisy was ok only. but abit sian cos the female lead was unable to speak. so most of the show we only hear man's voices. the ending i suppose is everyone died. din really understand. korean shows all very diff to understand ah.
*learn to forgive n forget* a phrase xl told me..reminded me of lit text bonesetter tt i learn in sec sch..haha one of its theme.

aiyo..this taiwan show im watching called bumpofflover by angela is damn scary. like everyone who seems so close kept so many secrets from each other. loving couples actually got one party hates the other then kill this kill that. then got scary chatrooms then got scary person who knows everything abt ur life but u duno who he is.. ahhhh!!!

ppl, im late again today! 5 time this term. 2 detentions waiting for me.
oh well ms toh had very severe punishments for ppl who din brings those 3 skill packs. detention+get out of the class+extra lesson. i think she's a bit too over today. i dont really think they deserve such severe punishments. maybe detention alone is still acceptable.
there were people around me but i felt like me alone for the whole day. until after sch. there seems to be things n secrets going on within everyone but im left innocent. happiness is just not part of me these few days. sth last nite totally spoiled my mood.
anw. just went to watch talentimes semifinals!!! n i din go for dance.. :P quite guilty actually cos i went to take measurements n went back to lt5 again. but sinda qy n sally is in leh. how can i miss it man. then i saw them came in when i went out to go toilet la. like so qiao. i think my face was filled with embarrassment. qingyi did great!! her voice is sweet sweet sweet!!! sinda n yeewah not bad too. but since there r competing with sally de grp..i think not much chance. sally n yijun de coordination very good. voice also very good. the chinese solo cat. is super competitive. hope qingyi can get in =]

im late today! like again. but i really went down early lor. the 143 was late like hell. in the end 4 buses came at the same time =\ then the normal 198 was early. then got 3 guys managed to run to sch on time la. the others marked as late. and i received my first detention form today. cos im late for 3 times last term. siannnnn.
anw din go for phy lec n went to lib. then saw almost half a class there. but i sat alone at another table. din really concentrate on studying econs tho. was thinking abt things. and the econs test was disastrous tho i knwo the qn. i duno wat to write at all la. then both qns also write around half page only.
such a long day today. and it was quite boring for me. went to dance after gp screening. which i shld have skipped la. duno y in tt moment of time i went in also.

haha just saw many s31 trio videos on youtube.all filmed by chih leong i think cos can hear his laughter. got one the whole class is inside la! the malays in s31 damn entertaining. lols.
anw today was a long day in sch. pc was slack we only walked one round then dismiss liao. after tt slacked around. until maths. got back ODE test which i just pass only. after maths is econs lec. basically hoping tt time pass asap cos i wasnt listening at all. but it din end after i wake up from my third nap. sianzz. 1/5 hr break n we went L11 to slack. hmm din do anyth much. GP was..erm. after tt maths again. the room damn cold la. n i was sitting beside nabil n grace. din talk for the whole lesson. while many of the other ppl r happily talking away. after tt went for dance. quite happy down there. but the costume person PS-ed again. when r we gonna get our costumes?
haiyooooo...tt feeling came back again. like i really need to sort it out n do sth abt it. but i duno how!! disgusted by myself.

sch was damn sian today la..........everyday wake up i dont feel like gg to sch leh. haha told my mum tt ms toh nv ask to see them. then she tot tt my results quite ok i think. din let her know abt my progress report man. :P oh ya. im out of talentimes! haha. expected la. only a little disappointed. congrats to qingyi sinda n sally!!! hope they will get into the finals~jia you=]

woohoo! had talentimes preliminary rounds today! it was..scary..nevertheless fun!! i was already very very nervous when waiting. then its my turn! basically my whole body was shivering la. my lips my hands. tts y i keep walk around n try not to look at the audiences. hahaha. lucky i wasnt out of tune n everything. but they r only choosing 6 out of 55 la. like only the very pros will get in lo. unfair to chinese solo singers sia. yay s31 girls rox! we all not out of tune today! yay =]

sch was ok today. did the 5 stations first thing in the morning. was unsatisfied with my standing board jump cos its a D. then lucky can retry. glad tt can still maintain my gold^^
nth eventful anymore.
when i was waiting for bus a the library busstop just now. i stepped on an earthworm!!!!! i din know until i move away from tt spot im standing la. after i move away i was observing it. it was trying very hard to crawl forward cos part of its body is flattened by me =\ im so sorry.. then one guy walked pass and basically just stepped on it without realising. and he stepped on the curling part of the earthworm..then more of its body parts r being flattened. but its still trying to crawl on! oh my..haha its a bit boring to say this but i find it quite a unforgetable incident of the day.
lets talk abt ytd. i din go sch. cos my eyes was pain. like blink also pain la.
i did sth tt i personally think is wrong. but i din regret.

just now when i taking out my contacts, there seems to be a layer of thing from my eyes tt is sticked together with the contact lens. scary. just the same as zx's case last time. now my both eye feel damn uncomfortable.
anw. bought a bag today. its white! my hp my purse my mp3..they r all white too! cool~

woke up at 1130 in the morning. practiced piano. packed my notes. haha n i broke my holepuncher! actually planned to go shopping after piano de the rain is pouring like a flood. i din wanna go but mum reminded me of the price per lesson. so she sent me down. it was still ok until we reached the busstop. after 1 min the rain is coming from all directions and our hip n below is all wet. its like the biggest rain ever la. waited like 10 mins under tt kinda environment b4 the bus come. and then i missed my busstop..have to walk from interchange to cristofori. the walk way is flooded with mud water! water level is until my ankle the roof is dripping water -.- was thinking of how to cross the road at the fastest speed and a kind auntie approached me and offered to share umbrella with me. so nice =] tts how i survived in the storming rain n terrifying lightnings.
came home and i searched for all my karaoke discs and i started singing. haha.

good friday today. my day started off good n ended off good. but there are moments which isnt good in between.
went to sing with xl yv n hl in the morning. we all got damn high. nv really practice my yi ran shi peng you. but sang many high songs. the last song is lianai-ing again i the kbox person saw me shaking my butt! wth. diu lian sia.
after tt went to meet the class at class outing. when we reach there only got 4 person. vicky zul faizal n shafiq. zx arrived in 2 mins. then went to cine. met sinda. intended to watch movie but there's no more seatings. took a long time to decide wat to do. went to eat. took a super long time to decide wat to eat. like we need halal foods cos there r malays. some disagreements n watever shit happened. in the end we ate the indo food which all can eat. i got no comments. cl also came to join us. after tt we went to clementi wat movie. the cinema sux la. 5 bucks n i'll nv go again. like the lighting is bright. the wall looks like there r worms gg to crawl out any time. the seats are mostly spoiled.
after tt came to je n bought a watch. zx 's white n mine's black. the day ended happily =]

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
allow me to do this here k cos i cant shout anywhere. went to cdans after sch to play laser quest but its booked. so we went bowling. main pt. my mum sms me ask me where am i. i told her im outside. the she ask outside doing wat. i said play. then she asked play wat. then i told her i come home then tell her. after tt she called!!! and ask me wat am i doing. im quite pissed off actually. but i din make it sound tt way tho. i mean i go out play also cannot ah. need to tell every teeny weeny details??? y she need to be so strict. the more she is strict the more i wish to play. so in the end i came hoem while they went to eat n planned to go back n play laser quest at 6. felt like crying la when im walking towards the mrt while they r all walking at the opp side of the road. y she like me to be at home so much?? even if i came home right after sch i also wont study. does tt make any diff if im out??!?! i will probably slp or watch drama lo. AHH!! i love her. but i'll love her more if she stop pressing me. like will happily say"oh enjoy n coem home early" unlike now. its like stop wasting time play la. AAAHHHH!!!
oh ya. today got back pw result. my whole grp got band 3. which is like so damn unexpected. most unfair thing is serena got band 1 just like xiu n helen. like WTH she deserves tt?!! the amt of effort she put in compared to chivi's is like 0.00000000000000001% only. WHY?? and y do we deserve a 3? mr tay had always said tt our project is the best in the class. so we all we very contented n din improve much at the last min. and it turned out to be the lowest? wat kind of judging standard has he got? omg. a super annoying thing is tt serena jumped up n down shouting tt she got 1 which everyone can hear from 100m away. damn bitch. she dont deserves it at all still DARE to haolian. AND she told me tt i got 3 when i just reached the concourse. like WTH? i got eyes and i can see it for myself. she just sux.
haven say abt my progress report. i got EOE for phy econs n maths respectively and E8 for GP. lousy right. then i still dare to complain tt my mum is being too strict? tt is bcos the more she ask me study the more i refuse to do so. i hate it. just feel like slping after she nag. no matter how many million things i need to hand up. i just hate it.
anw hope tt they are enjoyed the game of laser quest which i missed. =] want to play so much..

hahaha monday. finally handed up our talentimes form. finalised song===yi ran shi peng you. lol i choose so long in the end still choose this song. due to unpleasant experience at the campus superstar, hoho im going to practice more this times round.
had boring gp lesson. econs lec was also boring. phy lec we were playing bingo. lol. qingyi also joined in sia. cant imagine hor.
went to queensway with zx bao n sinda after sch. they bought expensive sports shoes i bought nth la. wanted to buy bag de but dun haf.

went to kbox today. it was 11 when i finally reached cck. and and and i was told the klunch there is 9+++ instead of 6+++. why in the world should it be diff right. then we decided to go to clementi. reserved 2 rooms BUT when we reach there we were told there r only 1 for us. then i was stupid la when helen was trying to bluff tt person tt we only got 3 person cos xiu n hsienwei haven come. then i keep asking then they 2 how infront of the counter girl. diaoz. helen totally stared at me. bleah. after tt xiu n hsienwei din go in lo. xiu was damn unhappy la.they only went in at last at 2pm.
anw we took turns to go their room listen to hsienwei sing. his voice is nice n man man. haha. and finally xiaoxiao's sorry i love u is found in kbox. i sang 3 times. =] qingyi also sang aimei 3 times. lol. but we still couldnt come to any decision la. oh ya there was a room of guys beside our room. first one guy walked n looked inside our room. nex another one basically opened the door n looked n said sorry. wth. they think fun ah.
but its still fun=]]

emm. had pc in the morning. actually wanted to pon de. then since wak eup le just go lor. we did tiring exercises la. like running on the field. everyone felt like dying. i rather run 10 rounds then doing tt la. and the field is so wet! and dirty..eeeeee...
then it was break n maths tut. nth much happened. only tt the class was more noisy. plus the slamming door.
econs lec was boring as normal. chatted with helen all the way.
then it was 1.5 hours break! we went to sing =] those LTs became our paradise oredi la. haha. time passes fast while singing. soon we went for GP and received the news tt it was cancelled!! aha then played a few rounds of uno before ms yew came for maths remedial.
its was only 230 n i got nth to do. so went to je with bao to replace his card. heh heh then mr lu was expelled from maths remedial cos he know nth..and came to join us. actually i really wanted to go for dance de. however under their strong peer pressure...we took cab to arena at last n bowled! haha. wow the 2nd game i got double strike la!!!! but after tt was long gou so not much use. but but but i was ranked 2nd for 2 rounds! haha. thx to bao's generosity lo. hee. damn tiring.
cos pool was full so we walked out of tt place. stood outside for a long time shouting at each other. duno where to go liao. in the end it was back to go slack at BK. slack slack slack slack slack until 7++. !!! too late so i decided to take cab home. then couldnt get any cad at tt ulu place. i was damn worried la. while they were happily playing fencing with tree branches. after tt count the number of bruises they got. bian tai hor. anw only reach home at 8. lucky mum was on phone and after tt i told her a lame reason for excuse. ahhhh i lied to her again =\ im so sorry mummy!

realised when im not happy i like to bite my fingers. until red red. and its disgusting. sch is just so not happening nowadays and i got no mood for anything. like cant get high. ya tts all for today.

i've got many many feelings tt i duno how to say. or izit not convenient to say here. i feel tt things are not right nowadays. i duno in wat sense. but just not right. im speaking very little also. like really got nothing to say. i feel insecured.

ahhhhhh. this isnt good. cannot means cannot ok. u should know where my heart belongs to. i feel so weird!! hope tt i wont see u soon.
campus superstar finals tonite. teresa is singing the chinese version of endless story. if she really sings it well i might love tt song. tho chi ver is awkward.

today im very very very happy cos i just found the piano scores of endless story and YUKI NO HANA!!! wooHOO!!! 2 of my fav songs!! been searching for it man. not really as nice as expected. but but but i will still learn to play!! damn happy. =]]]
hiaz..but i just got fooled by qingyi's sms la. today is april fool n i really got fooled. sian feel like im an idiot. =\ but not my failt wat cos i was talking to her online b4 tt...